I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
