pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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