Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
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