that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
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