I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
