Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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