I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
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It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
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I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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