i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
i just made my gag reflex go away.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
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