yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
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