So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Randomize
