I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
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