Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Randomize
