If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Randomize
