She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
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