feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Randomize
