broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Randomize