Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
