you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
