Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
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