If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
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