i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
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