Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize