I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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