He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
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