Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Randomize
