just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
Randomize