My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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