Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
