Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
I have aggressive nipples.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
do nipples grow back?
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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