it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
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