9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Randomize
