it's too hot outside to masturbate.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
We don't watch enough power rangers
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Randomize
