Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
