is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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