Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
