We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
