i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize
