OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
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