The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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