Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
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