I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
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