I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize