we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
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