yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
Girls should come with a carfax report
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Randomize
