Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
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Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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