also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
