its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
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