PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Randomize
