We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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