I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
