she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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