I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
