That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
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