butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Randomize
