Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
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