What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
