My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
