I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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