I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Randomize
