p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
