I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Randomize
