YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
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