Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Randomize
