He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
Randomize
