Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
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