Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
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