We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize