you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
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