Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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