i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
