Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
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