nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
