i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
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